A Disney Collector's Lament

Still life with Disney books, Orange Birds,
Mary Blair, Oswald, Big Al, singamajigs,
headscratcher and Whatnot Muppets.

Tom and I have been watching a lot of Hoarders lately. We can’t help it. A marathon aired before the new season got started and we spent one of our precious days off together on the couch, consuming episode after episode ravenously. I think there is a unique combination of factors that has lead to our (and America’s) love of this show. We feel grateful that we are not like the people being documented, and yet we see tiny bits of ourselves reflected in them. We feel a sense of schadenfreude and at the same time are uplifted when progress is made. We cheer them on and judge them simultaneously. This show and others like it (Intervention, Heavy) fascinate me to absolutely no end.

This last marathon, however, has mostly served as a motivator to get me to take a look at my own clutter.  As Tom and I are preparing for our big move out of the NYC, I am taking a more critical look at my own (in)famous hoarding tendencies and trying to purge our apartment of detritus here and there so that we aren’t overwhelmed in a few months. The last thing we need is to be forced to move a pile of unnecessary junk across the country.

Duane Reade shopping bags have been filled with books that I am slowly admitting to myself that I will never get around to reading and so will soon stick the shelves of the Strand. (So long, Anna Karenina.) Trash bags full of clothes have been lugged to the local charity store. (Bye-bye vintage shirts from my high school Goodwill scavenging days.) Progress is being made, slowly but surely. It has been surprisingly easy to let go of stuff, which is nothing short of a miracle and a testament to my excitement surrounding the imminent move.

I have a predilection for park vinyl.

I see a lot of negotiation in the next couple of months as I try to whittle almost ten years of acquirements down to a manageable haul. Mostly, it will be the media that will be a bit of a challenge. I have hundreds of CDs, DVDs and books that I need to devise a plan for. In this digital age, the CDs should be a snap, right? Just rip them onto my computer, store them in the cloud and rid myself of the bulky discs. Unfortunately, I am an old fogey who, after losing my hard drive many times over the years, is leery of abandoning the piece of plastic where the information is tangibly stored. I am also a dork who enjoys having such things as artwork and liner notes.

The DVDs and books, however, can’t all be stored on a machine. I am a bit crushed under the weight of the fact that I will quite possibly not get around to reading every word and watching every frame, but I am a man who needs options. One day I might turn around and realize that I want nothing more than to watch that American Gladiators DVD or read that important gay novel from the seventies. I don’t know if I can deal with the regret knowing that I had them and got rid of them, especially when I got most of them used and dirt cheap while braving the labyrinthine jungles of used book and/or DVD and/or CD stores. Bargain shopping for this stuff is the closest I’ll ever get to participation in a sport and I could be a major league player.

Florence and Adele watch over
my Disney CDs.

Possibly above all else, I like the aesthetic value of spines lined up on a shelf. When you are invited to someone’s place for the first time, what is one of the first things you inevitably do? You take a glance at someone’s collections to glean information. It allows you to bond over your shared love of obscure cast albums, connect over your hilariously curated coffee table books, and strike up a conversation about your extensive selection of amazing TV shows on disc. And it gives me great joy to be able to say, “Yes! Of course you can borrow my copy of Hey Dude! I’m so glad that you love it too! Did you know season two is finally coming out soon?” It’s a way to instantly suss out what you have in common with someone else.

The problem in New York City has, of course, become a matter of space. I don’t have space for enough shelves to make everything I have easily accessible. My CDs used to have some semblance of alphabetization going on, but once their dedicated spaced was filled, they started to stack on the floor in an out-of-the-way corner. DVD genres are somewhat separated, with children’s movies and anything made before 1980 in an Ikea cabinet near the bathroom door and Christmas movies and music in the couch (which has storage space under the seats). The catch 22 is that though we will have more space wherever we move, getting all of this stuff there will be a trial. So downsizing is inevitable, with one very notable exception. Can you guess what is non-negotiable? That’s right. My Disney stuff.

Top two shelves are Disney.
Yeah. They're three deep.

As I have mentioned before, I am a little bit late to the Disney enthusiast game. Most of my accumulated Disneyana has been hunted and gathered over the course of the last two to three years. I have shelves dedicated to my Disney books, a few to my Disney DVDs and Blu-rays (with the fifty animated classics separated and in chronological order waiting patiently for my DATE Nights with them), and a space reserved for my Disney CDs. My small collection of Disney vinyl decorates a wall while other souvenirs, such as lanyards stocked with pins, selected plush and very, very selected Vinylmation dot the apartment here and there. I have been a very busy beaver.

It’s been both an exercise in frustration and exhilarating beyond belief to build my Disney collection. There are elusive items that have become hard to find at anywhere near a reasonable price, like the Dr. Syn Walt Disney Treasures DVD or Disneyland: The Nickel Tour. As much as I want to get my mitts on them, I cannot justify plunking down hundreds of dollars for the bragging rights of calling them mine. It’s all balanced, however, by the amazing feeling I get when I finally find a coveted piece, make that winning bid or click buy, see it beckoning to me from my doorstep after delivery. It’s an undeniable high when I rip through the packaging, revealing the Polly soundtrack or The Colors of Mary Blair Japanese exhibition book.

Animated classics on top, Walt Disney Treasures on
the bottom, Bullwhip Griffin on the telly.
Blu-rays out of frame.

Even the less momentous buys are always fun. Few things give me as much pleasure as flipping through a Disney Park souvenir book that I found for a dollar plus shipping on Amazon, laughing at the out-of-date clothing on display, dreaming about my next trip, and discovering the changes, both subtle and substantial, that are a part of the DNA of the ever-changing parks. If it hadn’t been for the fact that I won it for a buck on eBay, I would have never been privy to the soothing twang of Rex Allen’s Yellowstone Cubs narration. And I certainly would have never invested in music from Selena Gomez or Miley Cyrus has it not been relegated to dollar bin at my favorite NYC used media joint (Book Off in midtown).

Our lanyards and pins.

As we take stock of what is making the journey from the Northeast with us, it is not even up for discussion whether my Disney stuff is coming along. Tom has contributed a few items to it himself, like our Art of Mulan book and what may be my favorite piece- a stretching portrait from the Haunted Mansion, an attraction that holds a very special place in our hearts. When he moved east from California, he left everything he couldn’t fit into a couple of suitcases behind. After giving away the majority of his possessions, I think he’s kind of excited to get some of them back through me. Not only does he know it wouldn’t be wise to try to get me to let go of the Disney, he wants to keep it within his own reach as well.

So why, you ask, will we be taking our own personal Disney mountain along with us? First and foremost, Disney makes us both blissfully happy. I found Tom soon after my interest in Disney took off. From our first date, one of the things we most connected over was our mutual love of all things created in the House of Mouse. He has seen me through the creation of this blog, which has become an important outlet for me. From our trips to the parks, to watching the films, to our times bantering in Kathryn Beaumont or Hayley Mills voices, Disney has been one of the constant threads in the tapestry of our shared life. It doesn’t define us, to be sure, but it’s a slice of our experience together that is precious to us.

The stretching room portrait
above Tom's keyboard.

This move is going to be huge for me. It will be the first time I have moved in almost nine years, when I moved to New York City from Tallahassee. Over that near decade I have (arguably) grown into an adult. Along with adulthood has come a bevy of things that have been heaped onto the two suitcases I arrived here with. For a long time these objects gave me a sense of consistency. They made me feel like I had laid claim to a space of my own where I belonged. Now that I’m married to the most amazing man in the world, anywhere that I go I know that I will feel loved unconditionally. As Barbra might say, “Any place I hang my hat is home.” As long as Tom is there, that is. I don’t need a plethora of possessions when what is essential will always be by my side. So as we look forward to a new beginning, we shed what weighs us down, keep close the things that bring us joy, and start our own mutual collection- of memories, experiences and things alike. No doubt, more than a few will involve Disney in some way or other. Let the memories begin.

All Hayley the Queen

Oh, rehlly. Do buy my album.
You'll lahve it!

My post last week, in which I contemplate my newfound interest in the new crop of Disney Channel stars and compare them to some of the Disney personalities from yesteryear, got me really thinking about my unabashed adoration of Ms. Hayley Mills. Of all of the old school Disney stars, she is without an ounce of hesitation my favorite. Just the sound of her voice makes my soul giggle.

Since I already discussed the reissue of her Let's Get Together album in that other blog post (Bottom Line: Get it if you ever find it. It's completely adorable and worth it to hear her sing "Jeepers Creepers" and a swingin' 60's version of "A Tisket, A Tasket" alone. The fact that you get to hear the verb-tense-twisting lyrics to the Pollyanna theme is just a bonus. "I'm as happy as a little clam. I am. I am. I am in love. Just with nothing in particular. I are. I are. I are in love." Charm bonanza!), I decided that I would gush over her a bit more this week and share some amazeballs videos that I have culled from the interwebs for all of you to enjoy.

Still don't have The Three Lives of Thomasina
or The Sword and the Rose on DVD, dangit.

I would be hard pressed to pinpoint when my love affair with Hayley began. I remember back in the day when we started building a collection of Disney live action films on VHS. Yes, kiddies. Before DVDs and streams and Hulus and Netflixes we had these bulky plastic contraptions that allowed you to play movies off of magnetic tape housed in cardboard slip covers! Strange, but true. Every weekend when we would go to Sam's Club to stock up on necessaries in bulk, I would beg and plead for Mama to buy one of the tapes that I didn't already have. From these trips my love of Disney beyond animation was born. Even as a child, my collecting/hoarding nature reared its ugly head, resulting in a pretty sizable collection. I remember the bright-colored cover designs and especially the trailer that played in front of the film which showed the other available titles while a synthesized jam blared raucously in the background. I. Wanted. Them. ALL!

Just recently, while I was home in Tallahassee, Mama and I gathered a bunch of the VHS tapes that have been taking up space since we don't even have a VCR anymore and donated them to a local school. I'm not gonna lie. It was sad to see them go. Hopefully there are a bunch of kids out there who are now rooting for Herbie to win the race, puzzling over where the treasure is hidden at Candleshoe, and wondering how Mrs. Andrews will survive the Aquacade.

My fave was without a doubt The Parent Trap (followed very closely by Freaky Friday, but that's another blog). I wore that tape out. The story is funny, the cast is fantastic, there's a little bit of rad music, plenty of hijinks ensue, and it's empowering to kids. Now, I question what the fact that the twins' shenanigans actually bring the parents back together does for false hopes in broken families, but I was, and am, too busy loving every second of the movie to quibble. My parents have been together for decades, so in my case it reminded me that just because I was a kid it did not mean that I powerless in situations. But yeah, mostly it was just a heckuva good time.

I actually think I picked this mannerism
up from Hayley. No lie.

When you're a kid, you don't much analyze why you are drawn to a character or actor, but looking at Hayley now, I am still rather bowled over by how fantastic she really is in those early movies. Tom and I have watched both The Parent Trap and Pollyanna recently and not only do they hold up as great films, but her performances are just as fantastic now as they ever were. Her accent may be sketchy, but her instincts as an actor were there from go. She was also able to take her Hayleyisms and incorporate them seamlessly into her performance. She was always essentially Hayley Mills, but she brought out the aspects of her self that fit the character she was playing. And that, my friends, is just as impressive when you do it well as actors who completely disappear into a role. The light that she brings to the screen in her early Disney roles is unmatchable. Those big blue eyes. That adorably impish voice. She felt like a real, flawed, interesting girl on film rather than a pre-packaged, cutesy, creepily precocious child star.

Trendy hat, Hayley. Who's that creepy old
dude smelling your hair?

Watching her later Disney output, it was interesting to watch how she blossomed as a performer. She herself talked about how her childhood was prolonged uncomfortably by her stardom. As she grew into a woman, she did some of her most interesting work. The Moonspinners is centered around that time in a girls' life when she (sing it Brit Brit) is not a girl and not yet a woman. It's notable for the adventure, Grecian locale and its depiction of burgeoning (PG-rated) sexuality. It's a fascinating and unexpected performance from Hayley. You can tell that, just like her character, she is struggling to grow up.

The third Hayley head from the bottom has hardcore crazy eyes,
bless her. And there's that tongue again on the top Hayley head! 

In That Darn Cat, you see a more maturely formed sense of humor in Hayley's acting. She was always funny and had impeccable timing, but as she grew, she was learning how to harness it. The whole movie is an amusing lark, but her performance is especially impressive. (Please avoid the remake at all costs. It hurt our eyes and ears so much that we turned it off after about ten minutes and haven't ventured back since. It co-stars someone named Doug E. Doug. 'Nuff said.)

Of course, over the years I drifted away from most things Disney, including my beloved Hayley. But over the last years she has come back into my life full-force. I can't get enough. I have The Trouble With Angels and The Flame Trees of Thika on my shelf just waiting for me to give them some attention. Though I still haven't watched the whole thing through, I often put Summer Magic on while I sleep because hearing Hayley and Burl Ives as I go to sleep is like being swaddled in a blanket of vocal happiness. Tom is a fan of that movie, too. He was just saying today that practically all of the music you hear on Main Street comes from that movie. And Hello Dolly. And then he mocked me because I kept on singing "Femininity" even though I don't really know any of the lyrics and I'm pretty unclear on the melody as well. It's the enthusiasm that counts, right? I'll learn it one of these days when I'm not listening through a pre-REM haze.

There's no way that canoe has room
enough for 5 butts and 10 legs.

So here are some clips that I've found during my hours of Youtube video hopping. I think you'll get a kick out of them. The first is one of my favorite Hayley Mills movies. Parent Trap Hawaiian Honeymoon! It's the fourth film in the series. I missed number three, but this one is classic. Susan has married a man with triplets. Somehow Sharon and the girls end up coming along on their honeymoon to Hawaii. Hijinks! So many confused identities! Otho from Beetlejuice! Jayne Meadows! One of the triplets was on the fifth season of Saved by the Bell! Barry Bostwick! All that late eighties clothing! They need to release it on DVD soon (you hear that, Generations Collection?!?!) because my VHS tape is MIA and it gets really annoying watching it all pixelated in ten minute increments on Youtube, which is the only way that you can currently watch it. It's one of my most treasured guilty pleasures and is actually genuinely entertaining.

By the way, I need to go on a short tangent. I get to do that since it's my blog, right? Did you know that in the early fifties, ten years before Disney's interpretation, there was an earlier version of The Parent Trap that was made in Japan?  Well, there was and it's fascinating to watch! (This is mostly for Tom, who loves all things Japanese.)

The next is a Disney Channel movie called Back Home. It is another one of my favorite movies from childhood and another lost VHS tape. Haley Mills plays a woman who has sent her daughter to the US to keep her safe while World War Two ravaged England. But, after five years across the pond, the culture shock when she returns is intense. It's a great story and I remember the performances being really solid from Hayley and the girl who played her daughter. I make another plea to the Generations Collection to release this on DVD as well. I haven't actually sat down to watch it bit by bit on Youtube. I have too many awesome memories of this movie to do that. I want to wait until I can watch it all continuously in one sitting and in decent quality.

Did you know that before Saved by the Bell was Saved by the Bell it was a Disney Channel show called Good Morning, Miss Bliss? Zack, Lisa, Screech and Belding were there. It took place at a school. But everything else was different. It lasted for one season before it was retooled into the Saved by the Bell that we all know and love. Minus Hayley Mills as the titular Miss Bliss. Boo hiss. This is the opening credit sequence as it was originally and after it was redone in syndication to match the rest of the Saved by the Bell episodes, which is how I remember seeing it back in the dizay. You can also track down a few episodes of the show. It's fun, though I must say that the changes they made improved the show. As much as I love Hayley, it worked much better when the kids were the true focus of the story.

This is Hayley being supremely cute-tastic on the game show What's My Line? when she was promoting That Darn Cat. I love that Hayley Mills can't do a Southern accent at all without sounding like Hayley Mills doing a Southern accent, but her save sounded pretty good to me. I will say, however, that I would recognize that voice right away no matter what "accent" she was "doing". For you theatre geeks out there, this was back in the era when even huge Broadway flops like Drat! the Cat! were major enough cultural draws to warrant mention on major television shows.

And last, but sure as heck not least is a video from the phenomenal Punchy Players. A couple produces these videos. One guy does almost all of the voices and his partner does the visuals. And they are pretty uniformly hilarious. They focus mostly on classic gay icons and are spot on. This video poses the question, "If ______ auditioned for the role of Mary Poppins, what would the audition reel be like?" Fill in the blank with Sally Field, Audrey Hepburn, Judy Garland, Lady Elaine Fairchild, and of course, Hayley Mills. Please to enjoy.

I never really thought of Hayley as a gay icon, but really she is. She's the odd duck who turns into a swan. In the end, I think I loved Hayley Mills so much as a child because I related to her. She seemed smart, awkward, goofy, curious, hammy, sometimes overzealous, a little bit weird, and a completely singular individual. She was someone who was in process as opposed to someone who was a product. She made it OK for me to feel outside of the norm. And as a young soon-to-be gay, I needed someone to help me feel that way.

I love her now because she is a woman who seems to have had exactly the career that she wanted to have despite starting out and finding such intense stardom at such a young age and has come out relatively unscathed. She is iconic of a certain era in Disney's history. When you watch one of those movies, you can't help but feel all warm and gooey inside. They are comfort food. And I, my friends, am an overeater.

So, are you as much of a Hayley Mills-aholic as I am? If not, Have I convinced you of how she is brilliant beyond compare? If not, why are we still friends?

Remember that next Tuesday we have a DATE Night planned. We're going to take a stroll through the woods with Bambi. I know, I know. I'm not much of a nature boy either, but this will be worth it, I promise. The forest is all watercolored and lovely and the critters who live there are totes adorable. Just put on some hiking boots and a plaid shirt and stop moaning about it, OK?

Pop Goes the Mousey

So, once again, I need to make a confession. Despite being unabashedly obsessed with pop culture, I am somewhat of an elitist about it. And I get pretty vicious about stuff that I'm not a fan of. Tom and I have gotten into some pretty heated conversations because neither one of us really has a filter when it comes to saying what we mean and meaning what we say. On top of that, we have wildly different tastes when it comes to most things- save Disney, of course. That's where our fandom converges and it's partially what brought us together.

I'm so surprised! I had no idea these huge
sparkly Mickey ears would be here, too!

That being said, one of the things that has irked me the most over the past few years is the new crop of Disney Channel stars and the mania that surrounds them. Recently, I have come to the realization that it's just my inner Carl from Up taking over. Who knew that you could get curmudgeonly at age 30? I moaned on about how Disney used to give us stars like Hayley Mills and Annette Funicello and now we get Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez? What the what? Back when I was growing up, they even gave us Xtina and Brit Brit. Grumble, grumble, blah blah blah.

One of the things I am most adamant about is that you should never judge anything before you have given it a fair shake. I realized lately that I have barely listened to any music by or watched TV shows starring these kids. It's been all blustering and knee-jerk reactions. In the interest of equity, I decided to give some of their music a chance and I was actually kind of surprised by what I discovered.

Firstly, let me say that if I look at it objectively, Hayley and Annette are not exactly supernaturally talented singers. Both have made it very well known that they did not consider themselves singers and were rather uncomfortable behind a microphone. I love listening to my Let's Get Together with Hayley Mills CD. It was part of a series, called the Disney Archive Collection, of classic albums that were re-released on CD in the late nineties in limited editions and are now out of print. They are all awesome, but the Haley Mills album holds a very special place in my heart. Check out this track from the CD.

Not exactly a masterpiece. And it's very typical of the album's sound. Hayley Mills singing is really just Hayley Mills speaking rhythmically. And I adore it. Never once did I ever dare to say, "Um, dude. She can't sing." The voice was not the point. The personality was. Her music is charming and instantly takes me to another time and place- one that I was never even alive during- and I love it for that.

Hayley Mills is like comfort food for my heart. There's something so adorable about her and the sound of her voice instantly puts me in a good mood. I am waiting very patiently for some of her unreleased Disney output to see the light of day on DVD. I am particularly a fan of Back Home and Parent Trap Hawaiian Honeymoon, which were both Disney Channel movies from the nineties. I am extremely tired of watching them in ten minute sections of YouTube, thank you very much.

Annette has an extremely similar effect on me, though not quite as strongly as Hayley does. Disney studio composers the Sherman Brothers, of Mary Poppins fame, wrote the hit "Tall Paul" for her when she was rocketing past the other Mouseketeers as the breakout star of The Mickey Mouse Club. Annette's voice was so small, they had to find a way to beef it up. They had Annette re-record the song several times and layered the vocal tracks to create what became an icon sound for the performer. Not much different than the auto-tuning and other forms of studio magic used today, huh? Once again, nostalgia does much to cover up the flaws.

Once again, this is not challenging, boundary pushing music from an extraordinary vocalist. It's pop music. It's frothy, fun, silly, and geared towards young people who aren't concerned with the sturm und drang of adult life. I am actually a huge fan of pop music. I love a great piece of fluff (Katy Perry) and challenging, forward thinking pop (Robyn) in equal amounts. So why was I being so hard on the latest crop of Disney talent?

Baby as Yoda. I say yes!

I think it probably started with Hannah Montana. The title alone triggered my gag reflex, though it did inspire a hilarious Amy Poehler punchline on the Weekend Update on SNL.

Amy: One of the hottest concert tours in the country now is Miley Cyrus, the star of Hannah Montana. While the least popular? Yoda Minnesota. 

Ha! Then there was the fact that the premise seemed posed to encourage young girls to aspire to be famous as validation for their worth. What happened to shows for kids where the kids we saw were just like us? I also had bad memories of her Achy Breaky dad from his mulletastic days. He made me think of unhappy times filled with huge, Confederate flag bumper stickered pickup trucks and cammo cap wearing country punks flipping me the finger and calling me "fag". These were the days before I learned to embrace my Southern heritage. Miley Cyrus seemed to me an awkward, not particularly talented, young girl who was famous because she was lucky enough to have a famous dad with good connections and a need for cash flow.

Wow. Reading that last paragraph makes me sad about what a total douchetool I was being. Hayley Mills had a well-connected dad, actor John Mills who starred in Swiss Family Robinson, who helped her get her break. Annette was an awkward everygirl who emerged from the Mouse pack out of sheer luck. Kids just gravitated towards her. There's no solid answer as to what it was about her. She had that intangible something that drew other kids to her. I still haven't watched an episode of Hannah Montana, so it's ridiculous for me to pretend to know how it handles the subject fame. And no one has any control over my past associations with ignorant rednecks. It was never fair of me to judge the poor girl so harshly.

Then this summer rolled around. For one reason or another, I listened to a Miley Cyrus track from a 2009. I'm sure you've heard it. It goes a little something like this.

Yes, folks. I am no longer afraid to state that two years after it was released, "Party in the U.S.A." has become my summer jam of 2011. It is kind of a perfect pop song. (It was co-written by an awesome British pop singer named Jessie J, who you need to give a spin if you don't already know her, cuz she's awesomesauce. Start with "L.O.V.E.", "Price Tag" and "Do It Like a Dude" and go from there. You're welcome.) It makes me strut down the street when it's own my ipod. It's just a breezy, karaoke-ready good time. And now it sits comfortably in my Top 100 Most Played Songs.

And as for the young lady who sings it, I have a helluva lot of respect for her. Her awkwardness is endearing to me now. I'm fascinated by watching her mature from a gawky pre-teen into a young woman trying to define herself as an artist and person. The year is different, but, once again, the story hasn't changed. Miley sexing it up a bit isn't far removed from Annette doing the Beach Party movies. And of course, what really endeared me to her was the tattoo she got in support of marriage equality and the twitter conversation that followed where she stood firm in her beliefs. On top of all that, she has a good sense of humor, as evidenced when she appeared on SNL during one of the fully hilarious "Miley Cyrus Show" sketches. She gets major snaps for that. Anyone who is able to laugh at themselves seems like good people to me.

From there, my interest spread out to Selena Gomez, from the Disney Channel series Wizards of Waverly Place, and her new album. I have become kind of obsessed with "Love You Like a Love Song".

Once again, this is a damn fine pop song. And the video is fully fantastic. This and "Party in the U.S.A." have been in constant rotation all summer. Little by little I've listened to more of their albums, and, be still my heart, they are actually pretty darn good. It makes me feel completely foolish for being so reluctant to giving them a spin before now.

I can't say that I understand the system that creates child stars, but however it works, the pattern has always been basically the same. Normal kids are plucked from obscurity and thrown into a spotlight. Some are talented, some are not. Some have that indelible spark that is capable of being cultivated into celebrity, some do not. And all of them have to grow up and navigate the waters of either stardom or obscurity. It's not an enviable position to be in and they deserve the benefit of the doubt more often than not.

Except Lindsay Lohan. I'm done with her. Emma Stone found her career and seems to be actually making something of it. Sorry.

All of this also brought back to mind a Disney Channel actor from my childhood. We all know about all of the stars who emerged from MMC. I, however, used be particularly enamored with Kids Incorporated. A few stars broke out of that show, namely Stacy Ferguson (Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas) and Love Hewitt (before she added the Jennifer). But one of my favorites on the show was always Martika. But mostly I adored her for her big hit after she left the show, called "Toy Soldiers". It's a fantastic eighties-licious pop song. Yes, I know Eminem sampled it. Please don't judge her harshly for that.

Ultimately, I think the moral of the story here is that I need to stop being such an old fuddy-duddy. Times change and unless I want to be that old dude waving his cane and griping about how much better things were back in the day, I need to get off my high horse and stay open to new things. In fact, I bought a Jonas Brothers and a Demi Lovato CD today. And maybe one of these days, I'll actually watch an episode of Hannah Montana. Preferably one where Dolly Parton is guest starring.

I shall leave you with two more niblets to enjoy while I prepare for an impending hurricane heading towards New York City. The first is part of a motivational video for teens with Mr. T called Be Somebody...or Be Somebody's Fool. No I'm not joking. This section focusing on Mr. T giving fashion advice. Nope. Still not kidding. Pay attention to the young lady following Xena and Zena, the opening duo of models. No! I promise I'm still not kidding! It's a young Martika, then known as Marta, taking the A train to fashion. It's amazing.

And lastly, if you've never seen the Bad Lip Reading videos on Youtube, you are missing out. My favorite one is "Gang Fight" based on Rebecca Black's "Friday". They take the videos, remove the sound and then write a new song based solely on what it looks like the singer is saying. This is the one that they did for Miley Cyrus' "Party in the U.S.A."

So, have you given these kids a shot? And are you over the age of 20? What have your thoughts been? Oh! And if you're under the age of 20, same question! Anybody else find themselves surprised? Or is my third-life crisis just making me find weird ways to stay young? Is Miley Cyrus my red convertible?

That's all, for this week, kids! Assuming I haven't blown away in Hurricane Irene, our next DATE Night will be on Tuesday. Hop a ride on Casey Jr. and visit Dumbo with me!