Room For One More

Where can I get this as wallpaper?

So, I dunno if you know this about me, but I have a fantastic fiance named Tom. (I know it's a bit late for this now, but I wonder if I should't have changed his name to protect him from a slew of admirers. Hands off, kiddos. He's mine.) Well, we went down to City Hall in NYC just last week and got a marriage license. (Yes, yes. That means I'm off the market, too. Try not to get too upset. We're open to being just friends with you.) We've been together for a bit over a year now. (He bought me a D23 membership for our one year anniversary. How awesome is that?!?!) I know that I have already told you about our Disney-related meet cute story, so I'm sure that you've been chomping at the bit to hear the engagement story, since, wouldn't you know it, it's Disney-centered as well. Since our wedding is in one week, on September 23rd, I thought that today would be the perfect day to do it.

From our first meeting, Tom and I got very close very quickly. You know that whole soulmate thing? The one we've all made fun of while sitting on our couches watching season five of Sex and the City and cursing our love lives? I found that in him, despite fifteen years of kvetching about how it would never happen. Pretty soon after we got together we started circling the idea of taking things to the next level and putting a ring on it. We talked about it in somewhat general terms and knew an engagement was on the horizon without nailing down when or how the question would actually be popped.

About six months after we met, we planned a trip down to Florida where Tom would meet the fam and we would make a lengthy detour down to Orlando and spend one day in each other four parks in Walt Disney World. Tom had not been down there for about a decade and I hadn't for almost a year myself, which is about 11 months too long, in my lil' ole opinion, so opportunity was ripe and our trip to Disneyland together two months after we met had gone so well that I knew that we would have a blast.

Sigh. So romantic.

Little did he know, bless his heart, that I had a bit of a surprise up my sneaky sleeve. Mama and I had been communicated on the DL about finding rings so I could propose to him while we were in WDW. After many clandestine phone calls and internet links passed back and forth, we decided on a lovely, simple silver band. It was one of those you-know-it-when-you-see-it moments when Mama showed it to me. Seven months prior, I thought I would end up being alone forever, and yet, here I was, seeking out ring advice from my Mama.

The next step was deciding where in the parks I wanted to do the deed. The answer was pretty obvious. Both me and Tom's favorite attraction is The Haunted Mansion. Tom, who's a fantastic musician, loves to play the music from it on the piano and knows the narration by heart (as well as the unused Vincent Price narration from Phantom Manor in Disneyland Paris). I know, I know. It's a bit macabre and weird to propose there unironically considering that we are both pretty much the opposite of goth. But we're also both odd ducks and so in the end it all makes sense.

Stretching Room + 60's =
Tom's dream come true.
Thanks, Shag.

Once that decision was made, then it was time to decide where exactly on the ride to do it. I thought of doing it in the Seance Room with Madame Leota overseeing the proceedings, but quickly decided against it. The scenarios I came up with for giving him a ring during the ride itself were not pretty. What if he gets excited or nervous and drops the ring into the abyss below the track? What if he can't hear or see what I'm trying to do? What if he gets annoyed that I'm interrupting the ride? I quickly ruled that out. Doing it in the queue seemed a little silly, too. Almost like an after thought. "My, this line is long. How to pass the time? Well, I guess I can ask you to marry me."

Then it dawned on me. The Stretching Room. Of course. It's Tom's favorite part of the ride. We even have one of the portraits hanging up in our room. More importantly, though, if he drops the ring we can just pick it up and move on through. The decision was made. The rings were ordered. The trip was planned. Tom suspected nothing save one night where he turned to me and asked, "Are you going to propose to me in front of Cinderella's Castle?" I told him of course not because that would be corny. It was a close call, but I didn't even have to lie to distract him from my ghoulish plan.

We headed down to Florida, where Tom met my awesome mama, my rad sister, and my crazy dad. He made a wonderful impression and a few days later, after I collected the rings and buried them in my luggage, we made our way from Tallahassee down to Orlando. (By the way, every time I say the name of the city, in my mind I sing it like the song from Book of Mormon.) Our first day was in Epcot and so it was easy for me not to get too nervous. I was busy listening to the dulcet tones of Judi Dench explain the history of human communication.

Can you spot the boxes? Tom didn't :)

The next day was the Magic Kingdom. The Magic Kingdom means Liberty Square. Liberty Square means the Haunted Mansion. And the Haunted Mansion means the moment was nigh. The morning was rainy and chilly. I was extra careful to slide the rings and their tell-tale boxes into my hoodie pockets when Tom's back was turned. They were still bulky and so I kept my hands in my pockets the whole morning as we drove to the TTC, took the Monorail over and waited in the rain for the gates to open. Luckily, since it's our fave, we headed straight in that direction first thing. I'm sure Tom noticed something was off with my energy, but probably thought that it was just because the rain rain rain was coming down down down.

I was nervous as the dickens while we made a beeline over and walked right up to the door. It was us and a small British family. They had an adorable little girl with them who kept on asking if there were really ghost in there with her cute little accent. She would jet out from behind her mom, knock on the door real quick-like, and then hide behind the mother's legs again asking if we were all going to turn into ghosts if we went inside. Finally, the door opened and we all went inside and then into the Stretching Room.

I know they smell a bit musty, but they need
a ride to the bachelor party. Please. Anyone?

I had decided that I wanted to wait until after the spiel was over so that a) we wouldn't intrude on other people's vacation with our big proposal production number and 2) so Tom would be able to enjoy the whole thing. After the room had stretched and the door that wasn't there slid open, Tom started to walk away. My heart leapt into my throat, I grabbed him by the elbow and pulled him back, and he looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears. I got down on one knee, pulled the ring out of my left pocket (that was the one with his size 7 in it), and asked him to marry me.

The rings right after the proposal.

He had a scant moment to process it, but luckily that's all he needed. He said yes, I got up and gave him a kiss and said "Hurry, let's go before they close the door on us!" As we waited to board out Doom Buggy, Tom took the other ring and sealed the deal. I love the Haunted Mansion every time I ride it, but I must say, that was one special trip through. After we got off, we walked outside and the sun had broken through the clouds. The rain had stopped and the weather was absolutely lovely for the rest of the day. I could not have asked for things to have gone any differently. It was a series of perfect moments that I will remember forever.

Don't get any ideas, Tom Tom.

I was so surprised to find someone who fit so well with me, and the fact that he was as big a Disney geek as I was really sealed the deal. With a week until the wedding, and our immediate families soon descending on City Hall in NYC for a small ceremony, I can't help but thank whichever star I wished on that finally decided to listen to me when I said that I had room for one more in my life. That star sent me a mortal who was as foolish as I was. That day I took my loved one by the hand and we watched our step as we boarded the ride. I expect our lives together to be one heckuva swinging wake.

Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee, An Actor's Life For Me?

Picture it. Sicily. Er...uh...sorry. New York City. 2003. A young man fresh out of theatre school comes to the city to "make it". He had been performing since he was 5 years old. (Suck it, all you other kindergarteners who wanted the only speaking role in Peter Rabbit! You should have learned how to read sooner!) He had stars in his eyes and bells on his toes, ready to conquer the glittering grey slab of a city he landed in that fateful summer. Fast forward eight years and he's living a low-rent version of The Devil Wears Prada with a language barrier (since he doesn't speak simian) and scant prospects for getting ahead. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing since he would rather chew tin foil than parlay his current job into a career. What happened? How did he get from there to here? What comes next? And what in the world does it all have to do with Disney? Keep your wits about you, kiddos. We'll try to get it all straightened out.

This doesn't look unlike
me at 10. But i was fatter.

So, that young man was me. Anthony. No kidding! I just felt like I had to clarify on the off chance that it was still hazy for anyone. Allegedly, I was an actor once. Looking back now, I see a few Disney connections throughout my illustrious educational and community theatre career. I was off to an auspicious start, getting the lead in Chicken Little in first grade (we're talking the late eighties here, so far before Disney's feature, but long after the short) and every other show up until fourth grade, when I lost the title role in Johnny Appleseed to one of my best friends, Jason. Why?!? Was I no longer talented? Was it the pudge that was magically beginning to appear where none before had been? Was it because Jason was a blonde? I was perplexed. Ultimately, it drove an immovable wedge between us. Our friendship was never quite the same, but that's showbiz, kids.

Me on the right. Impressive costume, no?

Around the same time I also failed to land any of the prime rolls in a production of Through the Looking Glass, an adaptation of the Lewis Carroll book that CAST (Center for the Arts- School of Theater), my home away from home / the youth theater I belonged to, was mounting. When the cast list was posted, I scanned the page, looking for my name and found it following "Daisy #2....." I was crushed. No amount of TLC from Mama could placate me. I cried like I had just been told that I'd lost the lead in a show on the Broadway. Finally, Mama called Peggy, the woman who ran the theater and one of my heroes, and asked her if she could talk me down from my abnormally-dramatic-for-a-pre-pubescent ledge. After five minutes, Peggy made me believe that Daisy #2 was the most important character in the story and I was the most committed Daisy #2 ever. I learned the old, and valuable, "no small parts, only small actors" adage during that production. It has served me well. Thanks, Peggy!

Sing yo face off in that dramatic lighting, gurl!

I continued performing all through lower and middle school. The arts are where I found my solace. If I didn't have drama and music, I don't know what would have become of me. (Side note: The arts in schools are important, y'all. They save lives.) I performed "Candle on the Water" with two friends for a competition where we were required to conjure a scenario to introduce the song. We figured that dragons and lighthouses and the rest of Passamaquoddy would be a bit too much for the straight-laced music judges and so we decided to portray three orphans- two of whom were being adopted, leaving the third behind. Cue the emotive ballad. Even at twelve, I was working on perfecting my Helen Reddy.

High school came and I decided that I wanted to pursue acting as a career, much to Mama's chagrin. She wanted me to be an optometrist. Whoops. The closest that I came to Disney during my high school years was playing Seymour in Little Shop of Horrors the summer before my senior year. It's the show that Alan Menken and Howard Ashman wrote before they caught Disney's attention and it's one of my faves. Seymour was one of my bucket list roles. I also fell head over heels in love with the girl playing Audrey, which made me re-question my sexuality two years after I cracked the closet door. Awkward, huh? (Update: I'm still gay.)

When college hit, all things Disney were moved to the back burner as I became a "serious" actor who did "serious" work by Kushner and Sondheim and Euripides, etc. Though there was a lot of child-like joy surrounding those years in my life, it was sadly devoid of the mouse. After graduation, I moved to New York City and soon thereafter landed my first professional gig in a children's theatre tour. I played Peter, the oldest brother, and an evil gnome in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. It was me (the gay boy), two straight guys, a lesbian and a thirty-year old virgin Mennonite (who was the most well-adjusted of us all) traveling with our stage manager, luggage, set and costumes in a van built to seat five.

Yup. That's me on the left.

We performed our show across the eastern half of the country from Florida to Flint, Michigan, with a stint in Amish country. I will never forget the chubby Amish boy in traditional garb and a bowl cut hiding under his teacher's arm because the witch terrified him so much. I guess that's what happens when you don't have a TV. But they are allowed the fanciest, pink, maribou-feather-topped, scented pens, apparently, because that's what the little girls handed us to sign autographs with after the show. The whole tour was fascinating, but three months packed like sardines in a maroon van is enough to drive anyone batty.

And that, my dear folks, is my last professional gig in NYC. It got me my Equity card and since then it has been a popcorn garland of rejection. That was over five years ago and since then I've done one small concert and traveled back home to play one of my other bucket list roles (Leo Frank in Parade) at one of my hometown theaters. At this point I've realized that I'm not cut out for the business part of show business. I love theatre for the sense of joy, discovery and community that comes when you put a group of creative people in a room together, give them words to bring to life, and let them discover. Increasingly the scene here feels like I'm back in middle school lunch room and not being allowed to sit at the cool kid's table when that feeling is exactly what I got into the theatre to avoid.

In my last role as Leo Frank in Parade. I love this shot.

I also did some writing here and there. I wrote a play that I'm very proud of, but can't quite wrap my brain about getting it produced. I don't know the right people. I didn't go to the right school. So I watch an abundance of mediocre theatre happen around me and it makes me feel hopeless. I miss the spark that used to happen when I was surrounded by people who weren't being strangled by their need for success. As y'all know by now, Tom and I are planning our exit from New York soon. There is nothing that excites me more than becoming a part of a smaller, more close knit theatrical community again.

All of this came up the other day because I remembered a monologue that I had written a few years back when I took a playwriting course. On the first day, after we walked in and sat down, the instructor asked us to write a monologue. I launched into one about a young man who had a love of Disney but was scared to take his boyfriend with him to the Magic Kingdom. I decided to share it with y'all. Please feel free to use it for your next big audition or Acting I class.

*****
We all know deep down that it's rather deceptive, really. The whole concept of "The Happiest Place on Earth". The bright colors and parades. The smiles and laughter. The music flowing out of everywhere from the roofs and lampposts to the bushes piping in The Music Man on a loop. The complete lack of trash anywhere. I mean, how does that even happen? Is there a trash fairy brigade with latex gloves and work boots under their tutus flitting around collecting discarded Mickey wrappers and Mickey cups and Mickey bags? An endless volume of Mickey waste.

Yet, we adore it. I know at least I do. Every square inch of manufactured joy. It makes me feel completely happy. That same wonderful, safe sense of happy that I used to feel when I was a pudgy ten-year-old sitting too close to the TV immersed in a worn-out VHS tape of The Parent Trap or Beauty and the Beast. Or Freaky Friday. The first one without crack-headed Lindsay Lohan. Or The Little Mermaid. God! I wanted long, red hair and fishtail so bad! Or at least the doll, which mom and dad were loathe to buy me but did anyway. After my endless pleading.

So I can understand why you would think coming with me to Disney would be fantastic. It's completely logical. But I'm telling you- Disney park plus boyfriend plus me equals inevitable doom. And that makes me sad. I'll never have the Disney wedding of my dreams. Or Disney commitment ceremony of my dreams. Whichever. Because my relationships are vulnerable to a curse. Each one I've had that included a blissful, carefree Disney excursion has ended tragically. Tragically. We're talking about what it takes weeks of nothing but Dunkin' Donuts and Gilmore Girls marathons to recover from.

I can't do that with you. Firstly, I've been feeling chunky as of late and can't afford the binge. And secondly, because I think I might love you and I want you to stick around for a while. So, just give me a week in Florida and then I'll come home and we'll watch Aladdin together. I'll even bring you back one of those collectible pins. Just be here when I get back, OK? Let's try to give this one a happily ever after.
*****

It is completely autobiographical. I had horrible luck with taking men to Disney. We would have an amazing time and then soon after our return, the whole thing would go to pot. Luckily, that streak of luck was broken with my husband, Tom. We share a love of Disney and have been to Disneyland twice and Walt Disney World once. We even got engaged in the Haunted Mansion. Strangely enough, we are also both actors who have learned to appreciate an actor's life outside of the pressures of making it our living. Either central Florida or southern California is about to get two more performer/writers who got fed up with this cold city of concrete and ambition and are ready to make some art!

My next role? Here's hopin'!

Of course, one day I would love to marry these two passions. I would love to write or perform for Disney some day. Nothing would make me happier than being a writer in the Imagineering department or playing Marlin in Finding Nemo the Musical at Animal Kingdom (which happens to be one of the best musicals playing anywhere these days, including Broadway, where one of the other best musicals, Book of Mormon, was also written by Nemo's Robert Lopez). Who knows? Maybe one of these dreams can still come true someday. One never knows, does one? For now, I will be happy just taking a step closer to the things that bring a sense of joy and fulfillment to my life because those are the things that are important to keep close.

A Disney Halloween Treat

The theme song sticks in my head all October.

If you are anything like me, then you super-duper crazy-like love Halloween. I blame it on my Mama. It was always one of her favorite times of year, too. Our house was always just as decked out in black and orange in October as it was in red and green a month later. Cobwebs festooned the doorways and witches watched us from the counters. She made it joyful. And I've always loved the weird and whatever was outside of the norm, which is actually celebrated as we approach All Hallow's Eve. As I've grown, I've come to appreciate the scary side of it as well. (I'm not a fan of modern horror movie torture porn, but I love a good creepy movie. Part of the reason I love The Walking Dead and American Horror Story so much is that since they can only show so much on TV, they have to get creative to wig you out.) To me, at its best, Halloween straddles the same line between fun, freaky and frightening (apparently with its three legs) that "The Haunted Mansion" at the Disney Parks does, thanks to Marc Davis, Rolly Crump and Claude Coats.

Amazeballs.

Also, if you are anything like me, then it's a complete joy to sit in front of a device of your choosing and get lost in YouTube for a few hours. From one related video to the next, I can pick my head up and see that day has somehow turned to night as I have fallen further and further down the rabbit hole of the interwebs. But I'll be danged if I don't find some fantastic videos down there. The site is genius. Kind of an always morphing and expanding collective pop culture unconscious where that commercial from your childhood, that news broadcast from forty years ago, that new music video, that ugly-laugh causing parody, that squishily adorable little animal, and that laughing baby all co-exist and are on demand with just a little bit of searching. Pure magic.

They ask you to stay behind the ropes
for a reason, y'all.

As I was listening to the "All Haunted Mansion, All the Time" playlist on my iPod and digging around YouTube to look for some seasonal goodies to help me get into Halloween spirit I said to myself, "Hey! I bet that the people who enjoy reading your blog would get a kick out of all of these awesome Disney-related, Halloween adjacent YouTube clips that you are getting such a kick out of. Maybe you should share and stop being greedy with them like you are with that tub of Brach's Autumn Mix in your lap." I ate one more candy pumpkin, put the tub on the table within reach of Tom and our roommate Katie and agreed with myself, saying "That's a great idea!". Tom and Katie took a small handful of fall-colored sweets and looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears. Finally Katie asked, "What's a good idea?" I smiled said "Oh, nothing" and we all went back to our evening's business. Just a small window into our home life, ladies and gentlemen. Fascinating, huh? So without further ado, let's get to some amazeballs videos!

This first clip is the opening song from a Disney special called Disney's Halloween Treat from 1982, which is a sort of a greatest hits of Disney creepery. I have vague recollections of watching this as a kid and being somewhat terrified, but this theme song gets itself wedged in my head throughout the entire month of October.

Here is part one out of seven of the complete Disney's Halloween Treat special. It's a great way to get your Disney Halloween fix.

I realized while writing this that the special that I actually remember is this one from 1983 called A Disney Halloween. It is somewhat similar, most importantly keeping that awesome theme song, but has different segments. Here is part one.

 

As I was searching for these, I stumbled upon this special, Disney Halloween Hall O' Fame from 1977, which I had no idea existed. It features Jonathan Winters as a security guard in the Disney studios after dark on Halloween, where he discovers a talking jack o'lantern in a crystal ball. They chat and watch a few cartoon shorts. It's weird, but worth a spin. This is part one of six.

Next, I want to share some of Disney's best Halloween-y shorts. This first is a classic. It is Disney's very first Silly Symphonies short, "The Skeleton Dance". Almost the whole thing was drawn by Ub Iwerks himself. It is clever, creepy and amazing. If you've never seen it, please for goodness sake, watch. You'll be shocked at how impressive it is even today, over eighty years after it was made in 1929.

This short, "Trick Or Treat", is a classic. Donald withholds candy from Huey, Dewey and Louie on Halloween who, with the help of an awesome witch, exact revenge. It's more lighthearted than I make it sound, obviously. That sounded like the set-up for a show on AMC. It's one of my faves with another great theme song that will burrow into your brain.

Here's another super-dee-duper classic short called "Lonesome Ghosts". Mickey, Donald and Goofy play ghost hunters. They are far less douchey than those ghost hunters on TV are. And far more entertaining.

I want to take the opportunity to give a shout out to Dark Side of Disney at Hong Kong Disneyland. I have never been, but take a look at the report from Disney and More. It looks like they do a spectacular job of mixing the chills into Disneyland's mythology without being unwelcoming to families or completely pandering to them either. With a legacy of awesomely creepy movies like The Watcher in the Woods, I hate that there is no Disney Park stateside that allows allows Imagineers to unleash their creativity for people who want something a bit more intense than a black and orange castle and candy stations. Here is a commercial for this year's Hong Kong celebration.

Moving into the realm of films, this next clip is from a Halloween classic called Hocus Pocus. If you have not seen it, get thee a copy of it before it's too late and another Halloween has gone by with you sad and deprived of this nineties live-action comedy gem. If you are gay, then you will be stoked to know that there is a trifecta of hilarious divas at the center of the movie- Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy. Who are we kidding? If you are gay then you probably have this sucker memorized. It's probably my favorite Halloween movie of all time. Here is the requisite Bette-performing-the-heck-out-of-a-number-just-because-when-you-have-Bette-in-your-movie-it's-silly-not-to-have-her-perform-the-heck-out-of-a-number number. And it's a doozy- "I Put a Spell On You". (Amok, amok, amok...)

If you've never seen the Mary Poppins as horror movie trailer, please to enjoy. It will give you the heebie jeebies, make you grin and fill you with respect for the fine art of film trailer editing.

So you kids know what a personal connection I have to the "Haunted Mansion" attraction. If not, you can get a refresher by reading my blog post about it. I adore it. It is my favorite ride, hands down. Here are some of my favorite "Haunted Mansion" themed videos. This is a performance from The Haunted Mansion 40th Anniversary Dinner Show. They really put it together well, using characters and music from the ride to create a surprisingly awesome short stage show.

This is from the "Disneyland 10th Anniversary Special" from The Wonderful World of Color. It is on DVD, but as part of the now out-of-print Walt Disney Treasures Collection. It is easily my favorite episode, showing pieces of the then in development "Haunted Mansion", "it's a small world", and "Pirates of the Caribbean". Best of all is Miss Disneyland Tencennial, guest jockey Julie Reihm. I'm sure at some point I will devote an entire blog entry to how much I love this episode, but for now suffice it say that she is my hero. For supporting evidence, please pay special attention to the way that she handles Walt's awkward questioning. Tom and I are constantly doing impressions of Julie Reihm's "A skeleton ghost!" She is indeed so dear to our hearts.

Here is a history of the "Haunted Mansion". It's done by Disney, I believe, as a special feature for The Haunted Mansion movie with Eddie Murphy, which you should avoid at all costs. It's atrocious. The annoying thing is that you could only access it by inserting into your computer. Nope. Not your Apple computer, though. Womp womp. Just put them on the disc for the love of all that's awesome! Here is part one of two. It is short, but very well done.

I am very grateful that a good chunk of Walt-era material has been released, but it is kind of annoying that so much post-Walt stuff still sits in the vault. There is now a generation of people who are nostalgic for Disney material from the late sixties and beyond. This is part of a Wonderful World of Disney episode from 1970 called "Disneyland Showtime". The episode features Kurt Russell, the Osmonds and Miss Minnie Fae from the Hello Dolly movie romping about in Disneyland. And it makes me want to scream with joy. A huge chunk of it is a making of and ride through for the newly opened "Haunted Mansion" attraction. I wish that more of these classic episodes would be made available. Pretty please.

Here is the complete "Disneyland Showtime" episode, starting with part one of five. It is so worth watching. It's campy and silly and fun as the devil!

Here is an official 40th Anniversary tribute from Disney Parks. Another very well done short documentary.

Here is The Story and Song of the Haunted Mansion storyteller record, which is also available on CD. I like this video because it includes the illustrations. This is part one of two.

Now we move on to some rad versions of the "Haunted Mansion"'s theme song- the brilliant "Grim Grinning Ghosts" with music by Buddy Baker and lyrics by X. Atencio. First off are The Dapper Dans in Disneyland. This is classic and these guys are spot on.

Next is the Walt Disney World Band doing it marching band style from their classic self-titled album.

This just makes me giggle. It's "Grim Grinning Ghosts" in Dutch. With Dutch subtitles. I'm pretty sure it's from a Dutch version of an awkward Sing-Along Songs video that I first saw on The Disney Hipsters Blog. (PS If you've never visited their site, get your raggedy butt over there, stat! It's beyond rad!)

I know nothing about the band We Met in Chicago besides the fact that they had the good sense to made a video of themselves performing a fun, Lilith Fair-esque version of "Grim Grinning Ghosts". And for that, I grant them mad props.

I love this last clip. When Tom and I finally have a child, you can bet your butt that they will be able to give this awesome little lady a run for her money.

As one final treat, I leave you with a radio commercial from the "Haunted Mansion" CD that I've been playing nonstop. It's a fantastic disc with ride-throughs, variations, recording sessions, commercials and other various nuggets to make any "Haunted Mansion" fan swoon. I couldn't find the audio, so I transcribed it here.

Kiddie Ghost: Daddy, tell me a human story.

Papa Ghost: Well, let's see... Once upon a time there was this magical place called Disneyland. And inside Disneyland, there was a strange, deserted mansion. Then, one day the mansion became haunted by 999 ghosts.


Kiddie Ghost: Oh!


Papa Ghost: And now humans can visit the "Haunted Mansion" and get real scared.

Kiddie Ghost: Daddy, do you believe in humans?


Papa Ghost: I don't know. But I do believe in Disneyland.

I couldn't have said it better myself, Papa Ghost. Happy Halloween, y'all!

The Colors of Mary Blair at Disneyland- Part Three: Beyond "small world"

Just to catch y'all up, I took a pre-wedding trip to California in September to spend some time with my now-husband's friends and family in San Diego and to take a trip to Disneyland. We timed our excursion specifically so that we would be able to visit the amazing "Colors of Mary Blair" exhibit at the Disney Gallery, since we are both huge fans of her work. (Why is there no name for us Mary Blair fanatics yet? Blairvoyants? Blairmasters? Blairstylists? Hrm. I'll keep percolating and get back to you.) So far, I have shared photos of Mary's inspirational art for Disney films and for her masterpiece, "it's a small world". Now, I will share with you her work for other attractions and lands in the parks. Mary has quite a presence in Disneyland and Walt Disney World outside of "the happiest cruise that ever sailed".

These paintings were done for the never built "Western River Expedition", which is one of the saddest coulda-woulda-shouldas of all the abandoned Disney park attractions. Originally there was no plan to bring "Pirates of the Caribbean" to WDW. At the time, there was still the residual aspiration towards something new and better left over from Walt, rather than constant rehashing of what was already popular. In lieu of that ride, there was to be a boat ride through scenes of America's expansion West, designed by the amazing Marc Davis. The area was also to have a runaway mine train coaster, which eventually was built as "Big Thunder Mountain Railroad". It was to be the most expensive attraction area ever up to that point. When the park opened and there were no pirates stem to stern, people got miffed and complained. In yet another case of giving the people what they think they want rather than what they don't yet know that they want, the executives caved, hastily adding the pirate attraction and shelving the "Western River Expedition". I still bemoan the decision to this day. The Mary Blair paintings are gorgeous, suggesting a more playful, less literal use of colors in the scenes. In the end, they were quite influential on the look of a future Disney project, the vastly underrated film Home on the Range.

The following is Mary's concept work for Tomorrowland. There were big plans for a "new" Tomorrowland to open in 1967 and Walt wanted Mary, who had done so beautifully with "it's a small world" just a few years before, to create murals to adorn it. She obliged, creating some beautiful pieces that were executed in tile (the ones in a similar vein to "small world" which incorporate the children, collectively titled "The Spirit of Creative Energies Among Children") and some that never were (the more abstract ones). The tile murals stayed up until they were covered up in the late 80's and late 90's. There is some controversy surrounding whether the murals were destroyed or merely covered up. I hope that those in charge had the good sense not to destroy her gorgeous artwork to slap on a generic "Star Tours" fast-moving ride vehicle picture, and that the works are still there, waiting to be rediscovered.

You all know that I have a bit of a past with the murals at the Contemporary Hotel in WDW. They are absolutely stunning. Until you get off of the Monorail and stand at the bottom, though, you have scant concept of the true size and scale of these massive and beautiful pieces of art. They also include one of my favorite Disney icons- the five-legged goat. I have sort of adopted the little dude as a personal guiding symbol for the acceptance of variance and imperfection in life and art because that is what makes and keeps it interesting. Not only should imperfection be embraced, but sometimes it can be by design. (Future tattoo? Most likely.) Here is some of her fantastic concept art for the murals, known as "The Grand Canyon Concourse".

And that brings us to the end of the exhibit proper, but while we are at it, I thought I'd share a few pics from elsewhere in the park. Just for kicks. Y'all with me? Awesome! First, here are the standard shots of the sign, the incredible facade, and the clock from "it's a small world". I will never not get a little misty-eyed walking towards it. There is magic in that facade, let me tell you.

I wanted to include some pictures of the rest of the area of Fantasyland that surrounds "it's a small world" because before I went to Disneyland for the first time almost a year ago I had absolutely no idea that there was a mini Mary Blair land in that corner of the park. People (understandably) focus so much on showing the facade of the ride itself that they forget to share that almost every inch is Mary Blair themed, from the gift shops,

to the trash cans,

to the speakers and lighting fixtures for the parades,

to the gate that the parade emerges from behind,

to even the churro and pretzel stands!

Inside the Toy Shop they have a framed classic poster attraction. And I want it. Sigh.

And of course, even the cast members get in on the action with their costumes. Carolyn was kind enough to let me distract her from her boat supervision duties long enough to snap a shot. I wanted to really feature the embroidered "small world" boat on the pocket, but I didn't want her to feel like I was some masher trying to snap a pic of her cleavage. In the end, I'm glad I got a shot of her lovely smile. And that fabulous hat.

Every time I go towards that section of the park, I get all giddy. The colors and the geometric shapes, the 60's-liciousness of the whole affair, the joy of it all. It is quite possibly one of my favorite places on this Earth. Now those of you Mary Blair fans that have not yet visit Disneyland have been fairly warned. You may want to carry a box of tissues when you approach the attraction. It's a bit overwhelming in the best possible way. Gird your loins, kiddos.

I also have mentioned that there is a tribute to Mary Blair within the ride itself. One of the doll figures is actually modeled to look like Mary. I try every time to get a good shot of her, but because there is no light shining on her and she is behind the boat as you move through, it's always a challenge. This is the best shot I could get of her from the last trip. She's standing on the back side of the Eiffel Tower in the France section of the ride, wearing yellow and green and holding on to a red balloon.

Even outside the area of Fantasyland that houses "it's a small world" Mary's influence can be felt. This singing flower is in the queue for the Alice in Wonderland dark ride. It's not surprising that you would find a touch of the Blair all over this ride, since it is the film that hews closest to her style onscreen.

Even across the way in Disney's California Adventure you see how influential Mary's aesthetic still is on Imagineers. This is from the facade for the (fully awesome) "Monsters Inc.- Mike and Sulley to the Rescue!" dark ride. The fantastic use of color, the simple shapes, and the joyful exuberance are all a tip of the hat to Mary's work.

In the Art of Animation building, Mary's artwork for Alice in Wonderland is featured prominently during that films onscreen representation. By the way, if you've never been inside this building figuring that it's not worth your time because of a lack of shiny things that move fast, get your keister in there ASAP. I stood in this room, which surrounds you with sounds, art and stills from Disney and Pixar animated movies, as it cycled from one film to the next until I had seen all of them. It was one of my favorite experiences in the park.

Even beyond the berm, Mary Blair is there! This last shot was taken of a window display in the amazing and humongous to the point of overwhelming Amoeba Music in L.A. Tom and I caught up with one of my best friends from college and stopped here on the way back. I don't know if this is a permanent display or I was just at the right place at the right time, but I think it illustrates just how far Mary's cultural reach extends. I love this window. It's just a great big, bright, non-ironic splash of joy on the side of a hipster-ish music store (remember those, kids?) in a cooler-than-thou city. It makes my heart sing.

Well folks, that brings us to the end of our journey through the Wonderful World of my favorite Disney artist, Mary Blair. Thank you all for indulging me and I hope that these entries have brought a fraction of the pure happiness to you that revisiting all of these memories has brought to me! Do me a favor, will ya? Next time you are floating through "it's a small world" and you come upon the Eiffel Tower, take a second to spot Mary and give a quick thanks to the immensely talented lady whose singular artistic vision inspired it all. I always do.

Papa Bear

Love this poster art. Those Marc Davis
characters are just so full of life!

The Country Bear Jamboree is rather controversial among Disney parkgoers. There are who hold it close to their hearts and will defend it to the death and there are those who emit a resounding "Meh..." and avoid it at all costs. Which camp, y'all ask, do I fall into? I fall squarely into the former. 

For me, no trip to the Magic Kingdom is ever complete unless I have made my pilgrimage to Grizzly Hall. I enter the waiting room, which is wonderfully detailed, down to the bear claw marks of audiences past covering the floor. I remember noticing that they were there when I was a kid, fully convinced that bears made them, and now it stands as one of my favorite bits of architectural storytelling in the park.

The wood interior warms my soul, transporting me to a rustic time and place where woodland creatures sing songs for me, even when they only exist from the neck up. The theater is equally simple and cozy. And the show that plays there is like a salve for what pains you. You just have to sit back, relax, and wallow in the pure joy of knee-slapping silliness.

At a certain point, you flat out give up
on replacing the floorboards.

On my last trip to Walt Disney World my big pin trading goal was to collect all six of the Country Bear Jamboree hidden Mickey pins that were circulating around. Tom and I kept our eyes peeled for patches of brown on cast members' lanyards. By the end of our second day, we had found them all and I displayed them proudly on my puffed out chest. Tom and I literally jumped up and down and cheered when we finally found the last of the set.

I finally got a vinyl copy of the attraction soundtrack on eBay, which now graces my wall. I even own the much maligned movie on DVD. I haven't watched it in years. I remember being severely disappointed when I saw it the first time, so I am curious to revisit it and see if that opinion has changed at all. Do you need any more convincing about what Country Bear JamborFan I am? I thought not.

I would venture to say that most people who don't like the show either haven't seen the show recently, refuse to do so because they don't like country music, or are scared away by other bear bashers. Disney itself is guilty of mocking these poor ursine performers, lampooning the attraction unabashedly (and quite cleverly, I must admit) in A Goofy Movie with the Lester's Possum Park scene.

Don't get me wrong. I will admit that the show can use a bit of sprucing up. The fur has gotten a little matted. They bears sometimes do that weird, one-eyed blink that only animatronics who need a tune-up do. The cracks show around the edges and the thing can tend to look a bit threadbare and janky. But that's not the show. That's upkeep. And that's a shame.

I would love to see our friends be treated with a bit more care- especially since this is the very first attraction to originate in Walt Disney World before moving elsewhere. As a Florida boy, it's a matter of home state pride to me. Now that the Disneyland version is gone, WDW alone holds the Country Bear torch. Apparently the three heads- Buff, Max and Melvin- still live in the Winnie the Pooh ride that has taken over their old home in Critter Country. I tried unsuccessfully to find them on my last trip and will try even harder when I go back next month.

Big Al and Al Bertino. Striking resemblance, eh?

Underneath the layers of dust, the attraction that is there still shines and I would argue that dismissing the Country Bear Jamboree so quickly is doing yourself a disservice. I think that it is one of the most subversive, funny, weird, and original attractions in the park. Imagineers like Marc Davis (one of my personal faves) and Al Bertino (Big Al, who memorably sings "Blood on the Saddle" in the attraction is based on him) infused the show with a wicked sense of humor and a big, beating heart.

Every one of the songs in the show, whether original or not, really gives you an insight into who these characters are. You come out having a very firm sense of all of the characters' personalities after a very short time with each. It manages to be appropriate and engaging for kids, who are taken by the fun songs and the big Audio-animatronic bears. They also have my favorite character, little Oscar clutching his teddy bear, as an absolutely adorable stand-in for them to relate to. He acts as an observant child who just soaks up all the craziness oozing out of the adults that surround him.

At the same time, it winks slyly at the adults in the audience. If you're a gay man, a show filled with bears takes on a whole new meaning. It's a no-brainer. Moonshine flows and the bears imbibe, both to forget their man troubles or just because that's what hillbilly bears would do. Any parent who's had a long day in the park with a pain in the rump child will appreciate the sentiment of not whupping little Buford, but shooting him instead. It's also very easy to relate to the Sun Bonnets when they lament that "all the guys that turn me on, turn me down." Liver Lips McGrowl shares his acceptance that his woman ain't pretty, cuz he ain't, too. And married Earnest admits that when he flirted with a lady bear, she told him "If ya can't bite, don't growl." Sage advice, indeed.

Yup. This lives on my wall now. Jealous?

These bears aren't singing cute little bear songs about cute little bear things. These are bears that act like real people. Ladies are bein' sexy. One even looks like Mae West beckoning us to come on up and see her and is a swinger, for heaven's sake! Guys are noticing and hollering their approval. Everybody jammin' to music they love. They are performing mostly old school folk, country and blues songs, with originals perfectly blended in, including "The Bear Band Seranade" by George Bruns and X. Atencio, who co-wrote "Yo Ho, A Pirate's Life For Me".

These songs are tongue in cheek, raw, and full of black humor. They are singing songs that stem from the everyday experiences of real people, mostly revolving around their relationships. This is not the most politically correct attraction in the park, and has is pretty much unchanged over the years, thank heavens, save the occasional vacation hoedown show and the holiday incarnation which are only in Japan now. This is as close to sex, drugs and rock'n'roll and you will ever get in the Magic Kingdom. And it's purty darn close, at that.

This is the music of the common folk of America, which is, of course, why it fits comfortably in Walt's vision of the park. Instead of the more well-to do yesterday on Main Street, here in Frontierland it is more down and dirty. The struggles of working class people that broke their backs to lay the foundation of this country and what they did to leave forget their hardships for a spell. I hope that just as pirates have come back to the forefront lately, that Davy Crockett and his ilk will have a resurgence soon, but that's a whole other blog entry.

Having said all of that, I have a confession to make. Don't tell anyone, but I used to be a full on Country Bear hater. I wandered far away before I finally came back into the fold. There were years that I would turn my nose up at the thought of sitting down to a twenty minute show of country singin', weird winkin', twangy talkin' robotic bears. And it had as much to do with my own journey in life as it had to do with anything else. I can admit that now. Before I would have said that it was boring and dumb just so I wouldn't have to confront the fact that if my Dad was an attraction at Walt Disney World, he would be the Country Bear Jamboree. No question.

Almost any Southern gay boy will tell you that their relationship with their dad is fraught, to say the least, and mine was no exception. My dad is a good ole boy who comes from a large family in Eufala, Alabama. I'm sure that the idea of having a gay family member had never even crossed his mind, much less having a gay son. Things were tough for a lot of years and that resulted in me turning my back on anything that made me think of my dad.

The Five Bear Rugs (plus Oscar- toot toot!)

For all those years I rejected anything country. Music, culture, and even the accent. I worked very hard to hammer out any bit of that giveaway lilt from my voice to make sure that my heritage couldn't be pegged down.

To be fair, it wasn't just Dad. I lived in a town where the majority of cars proudly display Jesus fish or Confederate flags and the people in them proudly display the homophobia that oftentimes accompanies those bumper stickers. It was a hard place to grow up, but in the end I have no doubt I am stronger for it.

A few years ago, as I was approaching my thirties, I started to gain a lot of respect for Dad. It was the kind of respect that only life experience allows you to glean. Part of it was from my own contemplation of being a father. As I imagine what it is like to raise a child, I tip my hat to those brave souls who step into the wilderness of parenthood, knowing that it will be hard, amazing, exasperating, exhilarating, trying, and ultimately gratifying. I know it was hard for Dad to look at his son and not understand the person that he was becoming. It was equally hard for me knowing that he didn't and wondering if he ever could.

It's like a little patch of heaven.

It was soon after that I started to feel a real connection to the South. I was drawn to the music, the lore, the kindness that was everywhere if you looked for it. My love for roots-influenced music by folks like the Indigo Girls, Brandi Carlile, Patty Griffin and Alison Krauss caught fire. Now country and folk leaning artists are among my favorites. I started getting into southern books, like The Help, and southern TV shows like True Blood. I also started missing Tallahassee, Florida, where some people were closed minded, but many more were accepting of anyone as long as they're good people. I missed the feeling of community, the importance of family, and the smell of honeysuckle when you drive down the canopy road on your way home to sit on the back porch with the family and sip sweet ice tea while the crickets make music and the fireflies dance.

I know, I know. Her eyes are wonky.
I don't have the heart to tell her.

My dad is pure country, with a bigger than life laugh, belly and sense of humor. Everything about him is over the top and silly. He also has a deep love for roots music- blues, country, folk, jazz. He goes out every chance that he can to play his huge bass and sang songs. It don't pay him much, but he does it because he loves it. The house is always full of music- sometimes annoyingly loud. Harmonicas at nine in the morning. Bass at three in the afternoon. Singing all night on the back porch. I think that the two great loves of his life are his family and his music.

As I began to make peace with Dad, I began to appreciate the simple joys that are within the doors of Grizzly Hall. He is the Country Bear Jamboree personified. He even kind of looks like a Country Bear, to tell the truth. And "liver lips" is a term of endearment / annoyment that has been so imbedded into my psyche from Dad saying it that it's hard to tell whether I heard it from him, he heard it from the show or it came out of a collected Southern consciousness that's bigger than any of us. He takes joys in the simple things, enjoys what he does without shame or apologies, jams hard and loves even harder.

There is a stuffed Oscar and
I don't own it. Unacceptable.

With the same fervor I used to walk right past the attraction because it reminded me of Dad, I walk directly for The Country Bear Jamboree now. It makes me think of him and the moments I spend listening to him tell hokey jokes or play the harmonica with more heart than skill. Dad and I will never be exactly on the same page about everything. Just ask me about his addiction to Fox News. But we now have a mutual respect that the teenage me would never have expected. I genuinely and without hesitation love my dad like crazy.

Disney has done something pretty spectacular by taking a piece of Americana out of the trunk and putting it on display for thousands of people every day. For me, it is more than just that. It's a piece of my history that I get to spend time with. It doesn't matter how loudly the gears grind while Henry and the gang entertain, beneath the clack of an animatronic eyelid, if you let yourself listen, you hear the story of a culture. And as I make my way back to that pine-filled auditorium, I am making my way back to my dad, one corny joke and mouth harp solo at a time.

And sometimes, usually when I talk to my family, a southern drawl sneaks back into my voice and it makes me smile when I catch it there. I am proud of my family, especially my dad, my heritage and that twang. Dang proud, thank you ma'am.