Disney Summer Movies 2011: Strike One

There are four big Disney and Pixar releases this summer. Two of them are my two big summer movies- Winnie the Pooh (Walt Disney Animation Studios)

and The Help (through Touchstone, which is an adult Disney division).

I have been waiting for both of those movies for months, devouring the trailers, which are fantastic, and counting down days. If that doesn't give you a window into my brain, I don't know what does. Winnie the Pooh will be coming out on July 15 and The Help will be released on August 10th. I will let you know what I think when they finally surface.

The big May and June releases have already happened, however, and they are Pirates of the Caribbean 4 and Cars 2. I did not see Pirates and don't really plan to. Maybe eventually. I still haven't seen the first three, to tell the truth. I started watching the first but lost interest about half an hour in and haven't tried again since. From what I've heard I'm not missing all that much and the new sequel doesn't do much to help the series' cause. I will say that I'm glad that it's revived an interest in the ride at the parks, which has always been a favorite of mine. The new movie based audio-animatronics are impressive and the way that they have incorporated the film into the ride honors the original while giving Jack Sparrow to a new generation that expects to see him. They've done well in that regard.

Not the most imaginative poster I've seen...

Over the holiday weekend I saw Cars 2. The only reason I went out of my way is that I had "free" tickets because I had bough blu-rays a while back that came with free tickets as long as they are $8.50 or under. Unfortunately, in New York City, movie tickets are $13. No. Not for 3D. For plain old 2D. But still, it took me 20 convoluted and frustrating minutes to process my free tickets online, so I'll be darned if I wasn't going to use it and $4.50 isn't bad for a movie. Plus I always feel like I can't have a valid opinion on something unless I've seen something for myself.

It hurts my soul to say this, but Pixar has finally produced a movie that is flat out not good. As I've mentioned before, I'm not a fan of the original Cars. In my humble opinion, it was the only dud in the Pixar canon. I was not drawn to any of the characters, the world of the movie asks that I suspend far more disbelief than I am willing to in order for it to make sense, the storytelling was rather weak, the art was well-done but pedestrian, and, frankly, I was bored by it. There were things that I appreciated about it (the attempt to reach out to boys with characters they could instantly bond with, the idea of small town America being just as important as big cities, the lesson of humbling yourself and reaching out to those that are different than you for mentorship and friendship), but it was easily and without question at the bottom by far of my list of Pixar films.

Until now. I actively love all of the Pixar movies and think they are brilliant with two exceptions. I am pretty much neutral on Cars and I now actively dislike Cars 2. Hate is a strong word, and I don't want to use it because I feel like the folks at Pixar pour a lot of time, energy and creativity into their projects. They can certainly be forgiven this one blip when they have set the bar so high for themselves. When it comes down to it, what would have been perfectly acceptable as a direct to video sequel does not cut it as a full-blown theatrical release from the studio that made two sequels to Toy Story that actually got better in quality as the series progressed.

Wait until someone tells them that they can't drive
away from their own movie.  They won't be happy.

There was absolutely nothing that I enjoyed about Cars 2 and a lot of things that really got on my nerves. All of the problems I had with the original were exponentially worse and all of the newer elements were even more grating still. The beating heart of the first movie was Doc Hudson, whose character's absence is swept away in one twenty second scene and never really touched upon again, and Radiator Springs, which is only seen in the very beginning and end. It gives me a bit of insight as to why they are calling the new area of California Adventure Cars Land rather than Radiator Springs. It seems to be all about branding over immersive experience, which is a shame. I'm kind of sad that the movie is getting a whole land at a theme park in the first place.

The new film is a loud, bright sensory assault with lots of explosions and corny humor. It's what we expect of a typical computer animation movie these days. All surface and no depth. Except Pixar movies are not typical computer animation. They are great movies. Some of the best films made by anyone, anywhere, by anyone's standards. I can't help but feel like for the first time Pixar is pandering. They made a film for no other reason really than to sell booty-loads of merch, which they are.

I think they're turning Japanese. I really think so.

I have never been the biggest Mater fan, and the character takes center stage here. The moral of the story want to be "Be yourself" but ends up more like "Perpetuate the stereotype of the Ugly American". But no one pays attention to the lessons to be learned anyway because they are too busy watching things zoom by and blow up. There is what felt like inappropriate violence to the car/people things. One was tortured and then murdered in what seemed like a very cruel manner. Several others die as well. The humor was boneheaded and obvious. The tender scenes felt like nothing but a series of empty platitudes. All attempted emotional payoffs were completely unwarranted and fell flat. The visuals were all eye candy but completely unoriginal. (Tom was amused by the look of the scenes in Japan, though.) The plot was convoluted and the storytelling was way off track. There was self-referencing and catchphrasing that would seem clever in a better movie, but feels lazy here. They put a lot of effort into making things bright and shiny, but it felt like it was only to distract you from the fact that the movie underneath just isn't very good. It worked on the kids around us sometimes. They seemed to get excited when stuff went kapow. Other times they seemed just as bored and confused as we were.

I must say that John Lasseter, who directed and did the story for Cars 1 & 2, A Bug's Life, Toy Story 1 & 2 along with many shorts is probably my least favorite Pixar director. He is often compared to Disney, and I don't think that the comparison is terribly off the mark. It seems that his real strength is as a visionary and as someone who brings out the strengths and talents of others. Disney himself didn't do much of the hands on creation. He was the idea man. I think Lasseter is best when he is in the same kind of position.

I cannot wait for Brave! Have I said that enough yet?

The only thing about the movie that I genuinely liked was the Toy Story short that came before it, which was very good. I'm hoping that this is not a bellwether for Pixar. I'm not too worried since the next film, Brave, which comes out next summer already looks glorious. I don't want to come down too hard on Pixar. I know that they are a business and they they have to established their brand and make money. Do that on DVDs and on store shelves, but not in the theater. We hold Pixar to a higher standard because we know what the studio is capable of and they have very seldom let us down. Hopefully they will pay attention to what seem like less than stellar reviews and not exactly amazing box office and focus on their strengths- innovation and storytelling.

As for me, I am looking forward to my trip to the Hundred Acre Wood in ten days. Did anybody else see Cars 2? What were your thoughts? Am I way far off course or did you think that the movie was a big old lemon, too?

Disney Dreamboat: The Dreamfinder

Sorry bout it, Naveen. Ti-Ti has my full attention.

It's no secret that there are some serious hottie patotties in the wonderful world of Disney. Good-looking guys are a staple of both the movies and the parks. Face it, we have all had a crush on Prince Eric from the moment we laid eyes on him in 1989 and remember that adorable Prince Naveen now captured forever in that Facebook photo. To tell the truth, I couldn't have cared less about Naveen in the moment, charming as he may have been. I was all about Tiana.

Much noise is made about the lovely ladies of Disney films, but not as much about the handsome gents at their sides. Part of the draw towards wanting to be a princess has always been the fact that the position would come with your very own prince, who were always romantic, polite and quite dashing to boot. The girls were no doubt the stars of many of the films, but the boys were always there too. They provided role models for the little boys (bravery, good-heartedness, persistence) and crush material for the gay boys and girls (eyes, smile, hair).

I have decided to celebrate the men of Disney in a series of blog entries. Not just the princes, mind you. They are yummy, no doubt, but many of them are empty calories. I will look in the parks, in the non-princess movies, in the live action movies and anywhere else in the Disney Universe. I am also going to explore a bit to find that unexpected dreamboat sailing the DisneySea. The ones that you may have forgotten were so cute. Maybe even the ones you never knew about.

It's cool looking and all, but it must be a pain to park.

We will kick it all off with one of my personal favorites- The Dreamfinder from the original "Journey Into Imagination" ride at Epcot, which is now defunct. First off, let me say that the ride currently in operation is a scraggly little impostor who only wishes it was as amazing as the original ride, which I remember from when I was a child and left a huge impression on me. Yes I am aware that dates me. I am going to pretend to be fine with that fact and move on.

The ride was overhauled in the late 90's, eliminating both the Dreamfinder and his rad sidekick Figment. After realizing their gaffe, they redid the ride once again to incorporate the beloved Figment and the classic Sherman Brothers "One Little Spark" song, but the Dreamfinder seems to be lost forever. Apparently the original ride system itself was completely destroyed for the newer versions, so it would be impossible to switch back to the old incarnation even if they wanted to. In its current state, the ride ties imagination to the use the five senses to put more emphasis on the science, and is a big letdown when compared to the whimsical amazingness that the original provided.

Nothing at all gay about that. Nope. Nothing.

Watching the Youtube video ride-through, I am still impressed by the creativity on display. We meet the Dreamfinder and Figment, his purple pigmented friend, as they explore using imagination in relation to the arts, such as theatre and literature, and sciences. Using audio-animatronics, projections and atmosphere, the ride really transports you into what it must be like inside the collective brains of the imagineers. It doesn't seem dated or lame watching it today.

They have taken what was once magical and made it pedestrian now. Though I don't remember specifics of the ride from when I was little, I remember the feeling of sheer joy that I still to this day associate with the ride, the characters and Epcot. Now the only thing you'll associate with the ride is the disgusting odor they pump out into your face (consider yourself warned) and the obvious corporate flop sweat behind selling Figment themed merch, which I will admit to buying. They had a really awesome 80's-licious Figment t-shirt. Don't judge me. I needed it. How ironic is it that the Imagination Pavilion at Epcot is currently the least imaginative in the park? Boo hiss.

The glasses are a nice touch.
They always make someone look smarter.

Now, I know that audio animatronics can be a little bit creepy looking and that some of the guys they had playing the Dreamfinder were a bit on the not too cute side, but overall I still think he's a dish.

There's something about his dapper style of dress. It takes a confident individual to pull of a purple suit with vest, top hat, and gloves and the Dreamfinder does so with aplomb. He has the same appeal as Santa from the Santa Claus is Comin' to Town Rankin/Bass special before his hair goes white- bright red mane, not too skinny, not too fat, jolly, kind and vivacious.

In all honesty, I don't understand how he is not more of a bear icon, with his big, bushy ginger beard and hair. I'm also a sucker for a guy with an accent, so his British vocal affectations get me all swoony. He can sing, too, which is always a plus.

As someone who can't wait to be a daddy, I also think it's adorable how sweet and paternal he is with Figment, encouraging him to explore his imagination and supporting whatever Figment dreams up. If you look at it in parental terms, the Dreamfinder is actually a pretty fantastic dad. And there is nothing sexier than a man who is a great father.

Really I'll find any excuse to squeeze in
an awesome Stitch picture.

There were rumblings that Journey Into Imagination was going to get a major overhaul and the Dreamfinder would be a part of the ride once again, but they have died down of late and that area of Epcot remains a bit of a wasteland. It is sad. Hopefully they will come to their senses and realize that there is so much potential both in an area of Epcot devoted to the imagination and in these characters that were created thirty some odd years ago. It says something that all these years later, these guys are still so vividly wedged in my brain.

Actually, come to think about it, I don't look all that unlike the Dreamfinder, except balder and more casual. So please refrain from leaving comments about how weird looking he is. I will take it personally.

I would however love to hear your suggestions for Disney Dreamboats that should be covered in the future. Which Disney dude is your Prince Charming?

A Pixar Princess?!?

Bit by bit, information is being released regarding next summer's new Pixar film, Brave. I am super excited by everything that is coming to light. Here is the official synopsis.

Brave is set in the mystical Scottish Highlands, where Merida is the princess of a kingdom ruled by King Fergus and Queen Elinor. An unruly daughter and an accomplished archer, Merida one day defies a sacred custom of the land and inadvertently brings turmoil to the kingdom. In an attempt to set things right, Merida seeks out an eccentric old Wise Woman and is granted an ill-fated wish. Also figuring into Merida’s quest — and serving as comic relief — are the kingdom’s three lords: the enormous Lord MacGuffin, the surly Lord Macintosh, and the disagreeable Lord Dingwall.

So, what we have here is a Pixar princess movie, which makes me do a dance of happiness every time I think about it! Plus, check out the spectacular teaser poster. Stunning, innit?


As I did with the Disney animated classics in the Disney Project, I am watching every Pixar film in chronological order. It took me a long time to come around to what Pixar was doing. I love classic hand-drawn animation and had to be dragged kicking and screaming to the Pixar party. These were not the movies of my childhood, and so any appreciation I gained for them had to be earned on their merits as a film watched by an adult unclouded by childhood memories. Monsters Inc. got me hooked, and I've been a big supporter ever since. 


The only lapse, in my mind, in their amazing track record is Cars, which was the last film I watched for the Project. I will blog both the Pixar and Disney Projects and go into more detail on my thoughts on the films, but for now suffice it to say, "Bah." I didn't get it. The storytelling lacked, the characters didn't land, the animation looked great, but for what? I felt watching Cars like most little boys feel like watching a typical girly movie. I was antsy, anxious, easily distracted, and, sad to say it, bored. 

This summer's Pixar slot is to be filled with Cars 2. Womp. I know that Pixar has proven itself to be able to do great sequels with Toy Story 2 & Toy Story 3, but there's nothing about the first Cars that made me want another movie in the series. It made me want one less. For those of you non-mathematicians, like me, I'm saying I'd rather not have even had the first one. I am pleased as punch about Monsters University, the upcoming prequel to Monsters Inc. That's a story I would love to see expanded. Suffice it to say that this summer is a wash as far as Pixar is concerned. 

This leaves me looking forward to Brave next summer. I'm already all twitterpated over it, though only the tiniest bit of info is available. It was originally conceived and directed by Brenda Chapman, who is the first woman to direct an animated movie at a major studio (Prince of Egypt, which I didn't love, but Tom does) and was to be the first female director for Pixar. Lately, she has stepped down from control, passing the reigns to Mark Andrews, who was story supervisor on The Incredibles, which is an astounding movie. 

The film is being touted as a story in the Grimm fairy tale tradition, with dark and adult overtones. Knowing Pixar, it won't go too far in that direction, which is a good thing, but I'm excited to see them continue to push the boundaries of what their creative minds can do and what the audiences will come to see. All of their best films do just that. They have also brought on a non-starry but very strong vocal cast including Kelly MacDonald from Boardwalk Empire, Julie Walters and Emma Thompson.

Plus, for the first time in a Pixar film, the central leading character is a lady. And a princess, no less. Considering that this is the studio that has changed the way that I look at toys, fish, super heroes, robots, and monsters, I have no doubt that they are going to have a completely original take on what a "princess movie" can be.  The concept art that has been released is really stellar. Look at her! She looks like she is ready to kick some butt and take some names!


Disney had a bit of a princess renaissance with The Princess and the Frog and Tangled. Both were well-reviewed and popular and both introduced a new princess into the canon. Both retained the magic of traditional storytelling while making the films speak to modern audiences. Unfortunately, after releasing two gorgeously animated, beautifully written and acted princess films, there is not another one on the horizon. 

It's in Pixar's hands now to uphold the genre. I have so many questions. Will Princess Merida be able to be a full-fledged Disney Princess? What will set her apart from the other ladies? How will Pixar shake up what Disney has of late done a pretty great job of shaking up itself? How will a female-driven storyline change the dynamic of a Pixar film? How will the change of directors affect the final outcome? How successful will Pixar be at a story that, in truth, seems more suited to Disney animation?


 We'll have to wait until next summer to get some answers, but I, for one, fully expect Pixar to be right on target with this one.

Odd Disney World: Disney Remixed

I am starting a series of posts about strange Disney miscellanea, Odd Disney World, with these amazing videos. I saw them a while back and had forgotten all about them until this morning when I was on the couch with Tom before work and the music from this video broke through the morning news.

This is my favorite album artwork for Alice in Wonderland.
I love the art nouveau style and the crazy colors. One just
 like is currently hanging on my wall. Are you surprised?

No. You are not high. I promise. The sound is pretty unmistakable. I muted the news and became mesmerized all over again. I think this video does a pretty spectacular job of taking the inherent trippiness of Disney's version of the story and putting a fresh spin on it. Tom and I are huge Alice in Wonderland fans. Tom is an Alice stickler, especially. He feels that the Disney version is actually the one that does the original Lewis Carroll book the most justice. He is fiercely protective of the reputation of the film, which I think is finally emerging from the shadow of a decades long and undeserved bad rep. With it's quirky storytelling, gorgeous animation, incredible Mary Blair styling, and wonderfully strange yet pitch perfect music, I think Alice in Wonderland is a landmark in the Disney classic canon. If you haven't gotten the recent Blu-ray release, do it ASAP. They finally gave the film a release that does the art justice and has a slate of fantastic bonus features that really take full advantage of what Blu-ray can do.

This musician takes a very basic underlying beat and a few chords and layers them with sounds and vocals that he culls from movies. What is so surprising is that when he does it with other films, ones that seem less drug induced by nature, it works just as well. On his Youtube channel there are ones for several other Disney and Pixar films, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Harry Potter and H.R. Pufnstuf, among others. The music he creates is haunting and familiar, a little scary, but beautiful and very enjoyable. I love that you can tell this guy is a big ole Disney geek as well as super-talented. I am a full-on fan.

Take a few minutes to check out one or all of these little masterpieces. It will be well worth it, I promise. Which one was your favorite? Do you love them or are you a little bit creeped out? Maybe both? I would love to hear your thoughts!

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Mary Poppins

Several films including The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Peter Pan, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty

Up

The Sword in the Stone

Toy Story

Score One for the Mouse

You know how I feel about being in Disney parks. It brings me a sense of calm and joy just to be on Disney property. But specifically when you are within the parks, there is an important detail that it's easy not to even notice if you aren't paying attention- the music. It's everywhere. And it's themed. And it envelops you. Walking down Main Street you hear ragtime. In Adventureland there is the constant sound of drumbeats. Frontierland has tunes with a twang.

How gorgeous is this limited edition poster
by artist Tom Whalen?!? Deco-tastic!

Disney is wise enough to understand the importance of the score to the success of any movie. Their movies have always incorporated songs and music exceptionally well, from Steamboat Willie's whistled ditty to "A Dream is a Wish Your hearts Makes" to "When Will My Life Begin?" to the scores of George Bruns and Randy Newman to the company-defining sound of the Sherman Brothers. Ask anyone of any age what their favorite Disney song is and they will have an answer, however begrudgingly they may give it.

By underscoring your day in the park, they are heightening the feeling that you are living your own movie. Who hasn't wished that their lives had been scored by a great composer? Who hasn't wanted to break out into song in the middle of their day? It can't just be me. Can it? Especially in NYC, we do it for ourselves. Many people, including me, walk out of their doors plugged in to their iPod, choosing the music that will underscore their adventures that day. Disney just takes that a step further, using the music to support the story they are telling in the park, hiding the speakers so that music seemingly drifts from everywhere. You are, in effect, living in a movie. It is a subtle, but effective way of making the day special.

In part because of this and in part because the music in the parks is so awesome, just listening to the music helps comfort me. I love listening to any Disney music, really, but park music has a way of transporting you to being somewhere that is removed from the reality of the moment. Somewhere that you are happy. And it does so instantly.

A literal Disney radio. As opposed to all this talk
of Disney radio. Deep.

Lately this music has become a real lifesaver for me. While I was at my last job, one that I actually enjoyed by and large, I stumbled upon an online radio station called Mouse World Radio on Live365 and my head exploded. Disney park music all day every day. I would put it on at random times just to bring a smile to my face. After I lost that job, I got an admin job that is a little bit... well... how about we go with soul-crushing. One day a month or so in, the online Disney park radio station floated back into my consciousness. I found a coping mechanism to help get me through my days. Now, for as many of the 8 hours a day as I can get away with, at least a small part of my brain is in a Disney park, far away from the office in midtown Manhattan that I actually am in. It has saved my sanity.

Along with Mouse World Radio, Live365 has other stations like Reedy Creek Radio, DIS Radio,  Mousejunkies Radio, and Magical Mouse Radio that all play the same genre. They play full ride throughs recorded on the sly, background music from the different lands, songs from the attractions and other such goodies. When you play one of them in its own window, the others are listed on the side under related stations. When one station isn't playing something that floats my boat, I switch to another one. I'm not going to lie, some of the Tomorrowland loops are kind of hard to take (we thought the furture sounded mighty synth heavy and blippy back in the nineties), but there's always something awesome playing on one of them. Plus, it's free and with only a few scattered commercials. There is also an iPhone app that will stream the music wherever you go.

Best fried chicken and sassy waitresses. What's not to love?

If you are like me (an emotional eater) and need some comfort food for the soul (I can't help you with the real stuff at the moment, but I can recommend where to get the best fried outside of my Aunt Ree's kitchen and it's in Disney's Hollywood Studios), fire up the computer, turn on the interwebs and take yourself over to one of these online stations. It is a perfect salve for days ranging from humdrum to crummy and makes a good day even better. Right at this very moment, it is playing Mickey, Minnie and friends singing "We Go Together" from Grease, which is apparently part of the Every Day is a Holiday show that happened at the Magic Kingdom. Come on. You know that's adorable!

At any rate, if hearing the theme to Soarin' (which has become one of my favorite pieces of music ever thanks to repeated listenings on these stations) or an entire ride through of the Haunted Mansion doesn't brighten your world, then I don't know how to help you. But I will give you a hug next time I see you and hope it's a start.

It Can Be a Jungle Out There

One day I will stay in Cinderella's Castle
Suite. Add it to the bucket list.

It's no lie when I say that going to a Disney Park is like stepping out of reality. You allow yourself to forget about things that worry you and just melt into the warm, gooey happiness that is everywhere. Whenever I cross the berm, so to speak, I leave troubles waiting outside, tapping their watches, waiting to get all up in my grill again. That's part of why the parks are so magical. They are the ultimate escape, designed to give you permission to bask in the worry-free joy and innocence of childhood.

With marriage equality fast approaching in New York, I've been thinking about how my relationship is perceived by others. I wish I didn't have to, but I do. My soon-to-be husband and I can't get married yet because others don't approve of the way I live my life. That's a hard pill to swallow. Living in big ole' NYC, it's easy to forget that we are in a bubble where, by and large, we are accepted as we are.

We have considered moving down to Orlando, where we would be a few hours from my family and a few minutes from Walt Disney World. We would both like to have a family of our own and suburbia seems to be a natural move in the right direction. NYC is hard and cold and expensive (and also sometimes spectacularly amazing. Don't get me wrong. I have a love/hate relationship with the big A.) It's also not very conducive to raising a family unless you are moneyed. We are not. Orlando is not cheap, to be sure, but the other pluses outweigh the cost. And it would still be cheaper than NYC.

By that point, we will be married in New York State, but it seems Florida is quite a ways away from passing marriage equality laws. People tend to forget that the Bible Belt chokes the panhandle and a lot of older people in the southern parts of the state can't wrap their heads around the idea of two people of the same sex being allowed to marry. This would mean a huge headache. Our marriage will be recognized in one state, but not by the Federal government and not in the state we live in. This is quite a sticky wicket and one that a lot of gay and lesbian couples are affected by. Many straight people take for granted the rights that a simple marriage certificate affords them, from taxes to visitation.

I don't want to make this too political, but this is a matter of doing what is right. Civil rights should not be subject to popular vote. If they had been, interracial marriage might still be illegal. The fact that marriage equality is even still an issue baffles me. People are entitled to have their own opinions about me and the way I live my life, but they are not entitled to impede me from living it. It seems that in the course of touting "family values" and wasting taxpayer money attempting to stop loving couples from marrying and raising children, a lot of folks have forgotten something I learned in kindergarten. Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you. It's even in the Bible. Matthew 7:12. Look it up, Fred Phelps.

Congo Queen, indeed.

This brings me to my last trip to Walt Disney World this past spring. Tom and I got engaged there and had a wonderful visit 99.9% of the time. Of course that pesky .1% is part of what has stayed with me. Hopefully blogging it out into the universe eradicates what's left of it. The incident happened while Tom and I were in the queue for the Jungle Cruise. We had been waiting for about 10 minutes when I heard a voice from behind me say, "Come on. Seriously. I don't want my kid to see that."

All the blood drained from my head. I turned around to see a scrappy Southern dude in a cap, his sheepish looking wife, their son, who looked to be about three, and grandma and grandpa. He was looking me right in the eye with the most horrible expression of disgust washing over his face. I think he said something else after that. I can't be sure. I didn't say a word. I didn't argue. I didn't explain what was going on to Tom. I'm not one for confrontation in general, and I certainly didn't want to make a scene at Disney. I pulled Tom back and waited for the family to pass. Tom asked what was happening. I asked him to just hold on while I desperately tried to pull the tears back into their ducts.

I couldn't quite wrap my brain around what set the guy off. Tom and I had been holding hands. He told me later that he had playfully pinched my butt, but I hadn't even felt it. I kept on waving people past, trying to make sure that there was absolutely no way that we would snake by this family again. I caught glimpses of them, giving us evils. I also saw the father stop a cast member and point back towards us, saying who knows what. I was crushed. I felt weak for not standing up for myself. I had just that very morning gotten engaged to the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and now this? Not cool, universe. Not cool.

As I was waving people past, there was an older couple who paused to say they had seen what happened and said couldn't understand why the man had gotten so upset, saying there was no reason he should have had a problem. The woman gave me a kind look and shook her head sadly about what happened. It was a welcome show of solidarity.

It's true. I wouldn't be shocked to see Gaga in this garb. 

It was at this point that the universe realized its' mistake and started working overtime to remind me that for every person in this world who tries to knock you down, there are four there waiting to prop you up. That couple in line was number one. Number two was right after we sat down in our boat. Our Jungle Cruise skipper was a hilarious gay latino. How did I know he was gay? When the headhunters are doing their dance, he pointed over and said "Look! The natives are getting ready for a Lady Gaga concert!" Need I say more? When Tom and I laughed the loudest, he knew he had found the gays in his boat and let loose what must have been one of the funniest, queerest Jungle Cruise spiels ever. Nothing inappropriate. But it was like having one of the little latin boys in drag from RuPaul's Drag Race out of drag moonlighting as a Jungle Cruise skipper. It was exactly what we needed to lighten our mood. It was the best Jungle Cruise I have ever taken.

The third person propping us up was a lovely lady the next morning as we were lined up waiting to get into Disney's Hollywood Studios. She started chatting with us. She asked us about the rings, noticing that they must be new because we were playing with them, spinning them around our fingers. She was so excited when she heard the engagement story and was the first person in the world to offer us congratulations face to face. She told us about a gay family member of hers and his experiences growing up in the small town they were from. We chatted about the parks and life and whatever else floated through our minds, making that hour until the rope drop fly by. She was like a midwestern, middle-aged angel dropping down to remind us that there are good people in the world and that they will make themselves known when you least expect it.

Tip: Go standby first thing and get a FastPass
to use later on your way out!

The fourth instance wasn't a person. It was a family. While we were waiting in line at the end of the day to go on Toy Story Midway Mania one last time, we noticed a lesbian couple with a little girl, roughly the same age as the boy in the Jungle Cruise queue, directly ahead of us in line. She was all decked out in her princess attire and was as chatty as could be. We spent the whole time in line talking with these three wonderful ladies, mostly about Disney, princesses and what they did in the park, but a bit about their lives. You could tell that they were proud, loving parents successfully raising a quirky, confident, beautiful daughter. I saw in them the kind of family that I wanted to build with Tom. As they hopped onto the ride ahead of us, I waved goodbye and grabbed Tom's hand tight.

Small-minded people are everywhere. And they are small-minded everywhere. They are in Orlando, in New York City, and even within the walls of the Magic Kingdom itself. You have no control over them. But you do have control over how you interact with them. I wasn't going to change the mind of the Jungle Cruise dad, but I hope that when they left that day, all that little boy thought about was how much fun he had. I hope that, by not making a scene, the memory of what happened in that queue fades to nothing in his young mind without leaving so much as a crease on his impressionable brain. I hope that when he grows up, he is the one that breaks the cycle of closed-minded hatred that his family has tried to instill in him and is aware of how his actions affect others. I hope that when he comes back to Walt Disney World with his family, however traditional or not they are, they leave hatred, pettiness, and fear outside the gates, allowing the love, hope and joy that the park was built upon guide their experience there.

And with that, I let the whole incident go.

I eagerly await hopping into another Disney queue soon with my husband and some day with a little one of our own. Because it still is, and will always be, my favorite place in the world.

It's Time To Meet the Muppets!

Tom's Whatnot (l.) and mine (r.), with their
singamajigs, sitting on top of some of my
Disney books. We embrace our geekdom!

I love the Muppets. (I even have one of my own from the Whatnot Workshop! See picture.) Smart, weird grown-ups who were smart, weird kids wear their love of the Muppets as a badge of honor. It kind of amazes me that a show that was so subversive was able to find a wide audience on primetime TV. I think that it goes to show that audiences are usually more intelligent than they are given credit for being. If you make them laugh and let them think, they will follow you to the most outrageous places. And The Muppet Show was pretty far out there. 


Growing up, I was a bit young to catch The Muppet Show. I began to appreciate it more when I became an adult. My knowledge of the Muppet characters was shaped by two things, for the most part. The first was Muppet Babies, which I would give my eyeteeth for a DVD release of. Unfortunately, there seem to be rights issues related to film clips used in the series and no release is planned as of now.

The Muppet Babies had such a grand sense of adventure. They had wild imaginations that took them anywhere and were a group of wacky misfits who created a family unit. They seemed so independent, with Nanny's green striped stockings only stepping in occasionally to check up on them. I remember loving the show, having the Happy Meal toys, and shaking my tush to the awesome 50's rock style theme song. Remember it? If not, it will take you all of three seconds for it all to come rushing back to you. Please to enjoy.

The other way I knew of the Muppets was through the three Muppet movies that were a staple of childhood in the 80's- The Muppet Movie, The Great Muppet Caper, and The Muppets Take Manhattan.  The Great Muppet Caper was always my favorite. Looking back now, it makes perfect sense. With a big Busby Berkeley homage, a musical number on bicycles, mystery, intrigue, Miss Piggy's triumphant motorcycle entrance, over-the-top costumes and Diana Rigg, there was plenty to keep my tiny brain transfixed.

I'd like to see the Statue of Liberty rock
a one piece as well as Miss Piggy does.

Of course, I also loved Muppet*Vision 3-D in what used to be Disney-MGM Studios. It's still there, though the park is now Disney's Hollywood Studios. The entire area is tons of fun and full of Muppet mischief. I am a huge fan of the fabulous fountain and all of the fantastic touches and details that Disney Parks are famous for adding. The movie itself still holds up very well. I remember back in the day when seeing a 3D movie was a big to-do. Theme parks were pretty much the only places where it was possible. Now, you can go to almost any movie theater, cough up and extra five bucks and you can see a whole array of second rate movies in three dimensions. The headaches, dark screens and feeling you have been had are free of charge, thankfully. What is great about the Muppet 3D movie at the Parks is that it is an experience. It is immersive. The theater is integral, the pre-show is clever, it involves costumed characters and animatronics that break the fourth wall... er... screen. And it's flat out funny. It uses the 3D effects in clever ways and maintains the quirky sense of humor that is so quintessentially Jim Henson's.

I don't know if you have heard, but there is a new movie featuring the Muppets on the way this Thanksgiving called The Muppets. Direct. To the point. No bells and whistles. Me likey. No doubts about what you're gonna see when you buy a ticket. You'll see the Muppets. And that is awesomesauce. The team behind Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which I have not seen, is behind this, so I am going on blind faith that they put the film in good hands.

When they started putting out trailers, it became obvious that the people in the marketing department were being very smart, creating a campaign that pokes fun at other films brilliantly with tongue planted firmly in cheek. When I saw the first trailer, I thought, "Ooh, awesome. Amy Adams is in another movie! What is this?" I thought it was some typical romantic comedy and then... BOOM! Muppets! My brain melted with excitement!

I am obsessed with Amy Adams. Soon I will talk about Enchanted and how I feel gypped by the fact that Giselle isn't a full-blown princess.

They followed this trailer with two more in a similar vein. This one is a parody of The Hangover 2.

And this one is a parody of The Green Lantern. 

The parodies were funny. I thought it was a really great way to put the movie and the characters on the radar in a big way. But they have finally released a trailer that is actually a preview of the movie in earnest. And it looks radtastic. 

They had me at "fart shoes". I must say that the way they are rolling out the movie has been very well-played. They have built buzz and gotten people very excited about Muppet domination. I, for one, can't wait! 

I leave you with one more video of my favorite Muppet. Make sure you watch it with captions turned on.

So who is your favorite Muppet? And how stoked are you about The Muppets this Thanksgiving?!? If the answer is "Not very," then please don't tell me. I respect you too much not to respect you anymore.